Show Vs Tell

 

So you’ve decided to self-publish and you’re trying to polish that fiction book manuscript.  First of all, congratulations! It’s a huge achievement to finish a book, something that 80% of writers aren’t able to do. That puts you in the 20% of writers who will become authors.

Now what do you do with that amazing piece of fiction you’ve just created? How are you going to get to the place where you are holding the completed book in your hands?

If you’re like most people today, you’ve started searching the internet for answers. And like most people you’re quickly overwhelmed with the amount of information out there. Should you hire an editor? A book cover designer? A publicist? Or give your precious manuscript over to a publisher and let them take over?

As someone who has worked with a few new authors, I can tell you that the first thing you need is patience. Just because you’ve finished your book does not mean it’s ready to see the light of day, in spite of what your significant other or best friend say.

“I can’t believe you’re an author! When can I buy my own copy of this masterpiece you’ve written?”

Hold up there Charlie! This book as a few more stages before it’s ready for sharing with the world.

Like what?

Well, like editing. I’m not talking about proofreading, where they check it over to make sure the commas are in the right place. No, I’m talking about developmental editing.

What is developmental editing? I’m glad you asked. It makes the difference between how your book is both presented and received by the world.

It’s easy for an experienced author to spot a novice a mile away. The novice hasn’t yet mastered the art of show vs tell. Sounds simple, right? It’s not as easy as it sounds, but mastering this process will make your books more engaging and help with that pesky word count that never seems quite long enough.

What is the difference?

Simple. Telling a story is just that.

Let me show you what I mean. This is an example of TELLING a story.

Sally went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients to bake a cake for Charlie. It was his birthday and she wanted to surprise him with her baking skills that night at his birthday party. They’d been dating for over a year and she was getting antsy for him to pop the question. Maybe if she baked him a gorgeous cake, he’d realize how much he wanted to marry her because she was a fabulous cook and the obvious choice for mother of his children.

Her imagination went a little wild at the thought of how he’d drop to his knees at the party tonight in front of everyone and declare his love and propose.

Okay, that’s not bad, right? We’ve got our couple, Charlie and Sally. She’s wants a proposal and thinks that baking a birthday cake is going to be the key to him realizing he wants her too. Sounds like a romance waiting to happen, right? But there’s a problem with this example.

Can you tell what it is?

It’s as dry as day old toast. Yup. Bland.

Why?

Well, think about it for a minute. What might make this more interesting? We’re writing a story here. So should the beginning really be Sally walking into the grocery story to buy ingredients for the cake? How boring is that? What reader wants to follow along on that boring chore? I mean unless the lobster tank overflowed and she’d dodging escaped lobsters through the seafood aisle along with other screaming customers while the fish guy chases them around the store with a broom . . . okay I’m getting carried away. But you see my point. There’s no ‘hook’ there. Nothing but a dry boring shopping trip. Who cares?

So, what DO the readers care about?

They want to be drawn into the story and care about Sally and her anticipation of a proposal from the elusive Charlie. Let’s see how that might go.

Here is an example of SHOWING the same story from above.

The doorbell rang just as Sally finished putting the last candle in place on Charlie’s birthday cake. It looked perfect. Since he was turning thirty, she’d only put on three candles. The cake design was a race car with headlights and taillights that really worked. Maybe most men might find it childish, but she knew Charlie would love it,  and she took a breath of pleased satisfaction as she wiped her hands on her pink and white checkered apron and stepped back to admire her work.

The doorbell rang again, and she looked up, realizing that she’d missed the first ring because she’d been so focused on the cake.

“Coming,” she called as she trotted down the short hall, checking her face in the mirror next to her condo’s front door before she pulled it open.

“Hey Sally,” her best friend Michelle sailed inside, her arms loaded down with huge bags filled with gifts and party favors. “Took you long enough. My arms are killing me. Where do you want me to put all this stuff?”

Sally followed her down the short hall and pointed into the living room where she’d set up a table, decorated with racing themed tablecloth and balloons.

“Wow. You really went all out for him, didn’t you?” Michelle said as she started unloading race car themed paper plates and cups.

“This could be it,” Sally said, grabbing a couple of presents from where Michelle had dropped them on the floor and arranging them carefully on the gift table. “When he sees how organized I am and what a great baker. Why, what man wouldn’t want that in a wife?”

                “So, matrimony is your end game then?”

“Do you think he’ll propose tonight?” Sally stepped back to admire the decorated tables. “We’ve been dating for almost a year, and he keeps dropping hints about wanting a family.”

               

Can you see the difference? So the first example, where we were TELLING the story, it was only 116 words. With the second example we learned a lot more about the characters by seeing the scene that was created. And it more than doubled the word count! The second scene was written in 312 words and we could have easily kept going along the same lines to complete the scene.  We even get to meet a few more characters who are important to the main characters and help move the story along.

This is how a developmental editor could really be key in helping you take your manuscript from ‘telling’ to showing. They can point out those instances in your story that you may have overlooked, or not realized could have been ‘shown.’ Sure, you can probably try your best to figure that all out on your own, but wouldn’t it be more helpful to have someone with more experience hold your hand through it? Honestly, even a good beta reader can be helpful with this.

I hope this was helpful to you in your journey. I’d love to hear from you. What challenges are you facing in your journey toward self-publishing? If you found this post helpful, stick around with me and don’t miss my other content as I guide you toward your goal of seeing your book baby in print! Hit subscribe to follow me and don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter!